back in S.J. but wanting anywhere else

[Steve]

pygmy angel
twirling hair
smoked out bar
sewing wisps into your wings.
a car hisses
spraying spit into pissstreetlightnight
and the fading neons
twitch-
dark then light
closed eyes
they're sparks of a resistant zippo
(no, too bright)
neon lights like broken embers of cigarette
cooling in an ashtray.

jukebox busted like
everything in this town,
just playing to
engraved recollections,
singing along with the muttering
malecontentness that has roots reaching china
and raises into the sky
clenching the feet of heaven.
the discs only shutter during drunken brawls
and music only plays when an empty glass squeaks
tinkl;e glunk bloop
or in your own mind
while her face is painted on the inside of your drunk eyes.

pygmy angel pygmyangel pick me angel
and raise me above the pool que racks
blow the roof off, send it sailing into onyx sky
like an odd owl flying over the borough
striving for the opal moon.

nail napkins to my back and adhere
their layers with my mother's
tears
and my father's
spit,
staple them into my triceps
and armpits.

sigh

and i will be the inverse of an autumn leaf
twisting upwards

only droplets of blood
dotting this town,
an angel biting down
and a cherry leaking onto the street.

the sip sip sipping sip
of the bar tells all the
monotony of this place
in this dead bulb allure
i found the music in my mind
while neons fade
and embers grow cold-
i'm here again
i'm here again
but not to grow old.