the first rainstorm of october

[Steve]

*alignment won't be right

i have been sitting here
going mad, rain on the aluminum roof
applauding my failed attempts-
its been raining for days
the stream to the drain carries newspaper in hand
pushes drowned wet mat frowning chipmunks
down the block, against curb, into driveway,
mammal carcass strewn, only freckles on the onyx street's skin-

i have no name,
been months now, stolen in the astral height mountain mist northwest while i slept in a tent,
drinking sangria and reading tristessa with a
toothless vampire-
drunk i had raced a train
saw apocalyptic savior light in yellow night
growing in size, a fiending thirsting tick
latched onto the back of the city, arm of the suburb,
prick of the ghetto, only anothe bolt in the mechanic structure world-

my declaration of tolerance
lays crippled corpse on nightstand, unsigned.
its anatomical sentences, ink chromosomes
interrupted, amputated by details of my life;
by rolling papers&tobacco
quarter sack&lighter
candle erected in the center, when lighted
stands a beacon, back bay lighthouse, radio tower
emitting light and frequency
so my eyes follow driplets of liquid lucid wax
along the shaft to rubbage details of my life,
leaving the document signatureless.

i have been sitting here
going mad, dreaming of death in a silver dress,
a book of ginsberg, a grip of tulips in hands,
her breath smelling of curry and lavendar.
lips cold smooth, a residue frigid and slick, they're
slug like, just as thick; pinning mine down,
(open, sprawled, spread eagle, spread like poor dead dancer's butterflies in glass case)
she tastes of water chestnuts and incense.
her and i
in alley way;
puddle in a dead dog's side i see the
reflection of garage light; felines missing
eyes, blink hiss spit, splatters against shattered car window;
jesus smile silent innocense rolling up his sleave
spreading wings ready to leave slowly goes to sleep
flanked by garbage pail and brick wall; the only
crying came from an ivy garden on the corner, was smothered,
she stands before me.

door behind me contains purring, at wheezing intervals, motor, her eyes easily slowly, with routine and mastery,
begin to shine
brighter
deeper
more lunar.
maturing with speed of leaking faucet filling a sink,
they bloom into headlights.
metal sliding against steel track
the door folds open, afraiid child's eyes,
i am frightened to gaze to my rear, fear of not.
sweat congeals as i perspire, feel my pores expanding
into fox holes, terrible stretching snapping, blankets
my body........

its been raining for days
they expect it to continue for two more.
i still remain nameless, sitting, thinking
about how many more chipmunks will drown.